[Gryffindork]

My shrink had me do an EKG, and decided my blood pressure is too high for stims. The BP is under control now, but I’m old & fat, so I don’t really want to try stims. My doctor agrees with me. I take welbutrin for depression, which has helped the add some. I think it could be better, but I don’t want to risk it.

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[Gryffindork]

sdwa…clever!

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[Gryffindork]

Meditation is extremely helpful. There are many different types of meditation. Focusing on the breath is simple & beneficial for calming the mind because the mind and the breath are closely related. Trying to hold a single object (thought) in the mind is good focus training.

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[Gryffindork]

HA! I had something brilliant & pithy to say so of course I somehow deleted it. Glad I can still laugh at myself, although mostly I feel frustration. And isolation.

I do enjoy the holidays, but I don’t buy into all of the stupid emotional baggage. I just love the beauty of the season….the colored lights, the beautiful trees with lots of shiny things, the very concept of Peace on Earth.

I give money to charity rather than buy gifts for people who don’t really need anything. I plan to purchase cat & dog food at my local, independent pet store then donate it to my local pet food bank, in the convenient barrels located in the store. I avoid crowds. I don’t watch commercial tv or listen to commercial radio, so that I’m not exposed to the obnoxious commercials.

This year I’m going to try really hard to send out Christmas cards…but I’ve not been able to get it together to do that for over 50 years, so don’t hold your breath.

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[Gryffindork]

I agree with brentitude. I’ve tried natural remedies for a number of conditions throughout my life (I’m 56). I’ve always gotten better results from western medicine, which is the Evil Empire to most of the folks I know.

I have a 3-pronged approach. I have a regular dr who listens to me. This is important. I have a therapist who understands ADD & helps me with my issues with day-to-day life. I have a psychiatrist who understands ADD & oversees my medication. I could have the meds turned over to my regular doc, but I like the psychiatrist & I think it’s good to go see her every 6 months just to check in. I was diagnosed about a year ago.

She (the psychiatrist) would really like for me to take stimulant medication, after I get my blood pressure under control. I’m not sure it’s worth the risk, and my regular doc agrees with me. I take bupropion (aka Welbutrin) for depression, which also helps my concentration. The only side effect I’ve noticed is a dry mouth. I’m always thirsty.

Unless you have some sort of condition which would make taking the medications dangerous, I would give them a try.

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[Gryffindork]

I get so lonely, sometimes. Mostly I get tired of doing everything by myself. But I pretty much hate being around people. I can do one-on-one, if I’m in the mood. But a room full of people wears me out, quickly.

Group outings make me crazy, too. Trying to get a group of people organized and off on some adventure is like herding cats. I have no patience for herding cats.

I thought I was going to die last December when the company Holiday party was looming, We’re small enough that I simply can’t get out of it. I got through it. I always do, but I wish we’d give the tradition up.

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[Gryffindork]

Thanks! I love this site. It helps a lot to know there are so many other folks who understand what I go through daily.

I just needed to vent, and appreciate receiving a kind response. You are absolutely correct. Slowing down for just a few seconds & taking a couple of breaths helps my focus immensely.

It was a major frack-up. But I owned it & apologized to my boss, who was gracious about it. I think she realized just how badly I was feeling about it. THEN my other boss fracked up something else today, which took some of the heat off me, at least. See? It can happen to anyone.

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[Gryffindork]

PS – I’ve also learned that SLOWING DOWN is really, really helpful. Walking slower, reading more slowly, driving more slowly…taking lots of deep breaths. I’ve stopped stepping on the poor cat just by walking more slowly. My brain has time to notice she’s there!

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[Gryffindork]

I’m 56 and was diagnosed about one year ago. I had gone to see a therapist about depression. She asked during our first session if I had been tested for ADD. I looked at her like she had asked if anyone had noticed I have an extra nose. What?!?

My emotional response has been supreme sadness that I didn’t find out at when I was 26. My life has been very hard, in many ways. I also feel extreme relief at FINALLY understanding what the problem is and always has been. Unfortunately, I’m unable to take stimulant medication for health reasons. I would love to try it. The antidepressant does a pretty good job, but it seems as though it could be better.

It’s OK. I feel pretty good, and I give myself a lot of breaks. I’ve been misunderstood, shamed, beaten, scorned, humiliated, ridiculed and abandoned by teachers, family members & spouses. I’ve also been angry & frustrated and sometimes, really mean. I didn’t understand WHY I seemed to attract this frustration & abuse. Or why I was so angry. I thought I was broken in some way; simply a lousy person. Now I get it. Yes, it has taken an emotional toll. I’ve suffered with depression for much of my adult life. I’m easily overwhelmed & have difficulty connecting to others. I used to enjoy parties & groups of people when I was your age. Not anymore. I’d really rather be alone. I don’t feel sorry for myself. It’s just …cause & effect. My small circle of kind friends love & support me, despite my hermit-y ways.

I’m still working on routines & ways of coping with day-to-day life. I seem to have figured out my work patterns. I keep my desk like the deck of an aircraft carrier, so that I can focus on one thing at a time. I get interrupted a lot, so I write down every single thing I need to do & refer to that list all day long. I minimize the use of post-it notes and I recycle scraps of paper. Everything on my computer has a folder. I leave nothing on the desk top.

Home is a different matter, but I’m working on it. Little successes really help my outlook on life. When I remember to wash the dishes, make my lunch or take my pills I feel like I’m a normal person. I AM a normal person…I just have have a different sort of brain. There are excellent resources for organizing out there. Some people find FlyLady.net insipid, but I have found her to be most helpful when dealing with clutter & trying to establish routines.

So, hang in there. You’re lucky to find out so young, because there’s lots of help available. It gets better. 😉

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[Gryffindork]

I love my smart phone with its alarms & reminders & agendas & so forth.

Had a heart-stopping moment the other day with my phone doing something weird…I wasn’t sure if it was going to come back to life. It did.

I have all my phone numbers & addresses backed up with a paper address book, but I no longer want to lug around a day planner, even a small one. I can put my phone in my pocket.

I realized I must go back to keeping a paper calendar, as well. I keep a list printed on brightly colored card stock, hanging where I won’t miss it. One side is A.M., the other side is P.M.. Each side has my list of simple daily things I must do in the mornings & evenings. You know…plug in phone, pick clothes for tomorrow, make lunch, take pills, etc. Little things that keep my life in order. Both sides have “Check Calendar”. Morning & evening I compare my written calendar against the agenda on my phone & update both. It only takes a minute, 2X a day.

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[Gryffindork]

I don’t know what Normal is, either. I suppose we look at the people who don’t seem to be late all the time, don’t forget to do important things, and seem to be paying attention, and call them normal. But ARE they?

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[Gryffindork]

Beignet, I loved your rant.

I can’t get through an entire book, either, so I read several books at the same time. Whatever I feel like reading at the moment. One nice thing about ADD, since I can never remember a mystery, I can read them more than once and still be surprised!

You are not stupid. You don’t even have a “disorder”. Your brain is just wired differently than the plodding masses.

Smart phones are God’s gift to ADD’ers. Alarms & reminders for everything. I have non-ADD friends help me figure out a new phone, so I don’t have to read that tedious manual.

Screw the laundry if you hate folding. Hang it over the back of a chair. Or on hangers. I don’t fold my socks or underwear. Undies get dumped in one drawer, socks in another. They’re clean, that’s good enough for me.

Passwords: I am hopeless with pieces of paper. You have to staple them to me or they disappear in an instant

Write your passwords on masking tape with a permanent marker. Stick them to the underside of your keyboard on the computer. DON’T put the one for your online banking under there. That one, you’re going to make yourself remember. ANYBODY can remember ONE password. The rest are under your keyboard. You don’t have to remember them.

There are lots of different meds. Try one. If it doesn’t help, try something else. I can’t take stimulants. Bupropion helps me focus somewhat, but I’m still a little disorganized. So, I’m not perfect. Sue me.

To make myself functional, I have lists of things to do, which are written & kept in a 3-ring binder, which is an obnoxious color, so that I see it every day. It sits on the counter where I keep my keys. I don’t do the lists from memory. I open that obnoxiously-colored book, read the lists, and do the things on them. This is hard to do. I swear it’s physically painful to follow a routine, so I’ve made mine very basic. Here’s most of the things I do:

Before I go to bed:

Make my lunch for the next day.

Wash the dishes.

Pick my clothes for the next day.

Check my smart phone for appointments, etc. Write them on a post it, and stick the post it on my bag. Since post its tend to fall off, I sometimes use wooden clothes pins, the kind with the spring, to stick the notes on my bag. A brightly colored pom pom glued on helps.

Plug my phone in to charge it.

That’s 5 things: 30 minutes, tops

When I get up:

Make my bed.

Shower & put on my clothes.

Take meds & vitamins

Eat breakfast

Check my smart phone for appointments, etc. before I put the phone in my bag.

Take my lunch out of the fridge & put it into the bag.

These are all things the majority of the people in the world can do without reminders. I have to have reminders. My phone helps, my obnoxiously-colored binder helps,.

My smart phone & computer figured out the time change for me. I didn’t have to remember.

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[Gryffindork]

A year ago, I went to a therapist to talk about my depression. Within 10 minutes she was asking me about ADD/ADHD. I was like, “What?” Never, in my wildest dreams, did I think ADD was my issue. A little research, a referral to a psychiatrist for formal evaluation, & I was on my way. I can’t take stimulants because of blood pressure issues. Someday I may get that resolved & get to try the stims. I was already taking bupropion for the depression. The psych bumped up the dosage, which helped. In reality, I’m still all over the place, but now I understand WHY. I’ve embraced a few habits which help me be functional. My smart phone has alarms & reminders for everything.

Ask yourself, ” In which area of my life does ADHD cause me the most problem?” And start there. Work was my biggest immediate problem. The bupropion helped my concentration. I got rid of the clutter, so I could focus on one thing at a time on my desk. I write task lists & look at them frequently. I ask my coworkers to not just tell me something, but to write it down. I ask them (nicely) to not interrupt me at all, if I’m trying to get something done. That kind of thing. It works! Now I have to figure out how to cope with a very low tolerance for frustration. My temper has ruined my relationships. It’s gotta go, or have a healthier outlet.

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