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Phil, Just Phil.

Phil, Just Phil.2012-11-13T13:00:41+00:00

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  • Phil, Just Phil.
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    Post count: 43

    I agree, my boss knows i see a doctor but thinks it is more to do with depression as her husband suffers from that so it seemed an easier way through.  She doesn’t understand and isn’t really capable of getting it so better to just keep my mouth shut

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    in reply to: A Gift? #118815

    Phil, Just Phil.
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    Post count: 43

    Gift…

    Liability…

    A little from column A, a little from column B…

    that is why it is so hard to pin down.  You see things others don’t, but you miss things others see.

    you can be both brilliant and dreadful given the right combination of environment, mental state, stimuli and possibly even, phase off the moon.  We just don’t know enough yet.

    the whole point of the Gift mentality is to provide a positive mental image for those of us who have it, not to beat linears over the head with how much better we are.  They keep the world running, it is set up for them, but without us they just plod along doing the same old thing.

    we provide that flash of left field, out of the box thinking that gives the exponential increases.  But it is a bit like a person with bipolar, we can be very high, but we can also be very low and actually have a negative effect on society.  Life is a bell curve and just like  find more men at the 2 extremes (most successful, powerful and absolute bottom of the rung) people with AD(H)D  will sit in these 2 extremes.  It is possible for the rest of them to be at the extremes, but a higher percentage of us will be there because that is how we are programmed.

     

    i realise the gender comment above may be contentious, but it all comes down to risk and reward.  100 may take the risk, less than 10 will get the reward.  There are always exceptions, but generally speaking I have found this to be true.

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    in reply to: High five corner 2.0 #118768

    Phil, Just Phil.
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    Post count: 43

    @phoenixmagic great work, congratulations

    @daretobehappy please let us know how you go, but it sounds very positive.  Great stuff…

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    in reply to: What's your superpower? Focusing on the positive #118701

    Phil, Just Phil.
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    Post count: 43

    @Larynxa you crack me up.  The kids look up now whenever yackety sax comes on, so I think I am doing my part.

    superpowers, hmm… Well sometimes I can see a dead simple solution to something, just far enough into left field that no one else has found it yet.  That flow between big picture and minute details can be a superpower too, if you harness it the right way.

     

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    in reply to: More unfortunate truths about "Multitasking" #118697

    Phil, Just Phil.
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    Post count: 43

    Multitasking is like the old school computers, you could have 10 people on terminals using one computer with a single processor, but it would allocate fractions of a second per terminal for the processing.  It isn’t true multitasking like we have in the new dual and quad  core CPU’s so for every task you add, you reduce the amount of brain power you are dedicating to each task.  I wish we had quad core brains, we might be able to handle more of the stimuli that comes our way.

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    in reply to: Needing to make others feel good at your own expense? #118696

    Phil, Just Phil.
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    Post count: 43

    Yes @Rick is a wise old man (lol).  I have been trying to Dom this one a bit more as well and I find  it helpful to continually remind myself WHY I can’t just say yes to everything.  No doubt it is an uncomfortable thing to say no to someone, not sure how they will wheel, not wanting to let them down, etc… but remember that if you say yes to it all then you set Yourself up to disappoint even more by not delivering, this is much worse.

    Try the old trick they blame on our public service workers here, under promise and over deliver.  If you think it will take an hour, say 2 or 2.5, then if you do it in 45 minutes because you hyperfocussed you will look like a superstar (or you can add some padding at the end to make it seem like it took an hour or so). That way when you aren’t in the superman zone and it does take you longer it isn’t as much of an embarrassment.  (Kinda stolen from ADD and Mastering it regarding issues with estimating time, think the scene with the toys on the bench for twise who have seen it.)

    Anyway, @Larynxa pretty much hit it, but that would be my 2cents.

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    in reply to: The elusive search for the 'right' career #118571

    Phil, Just Phil.
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    Post count: 43

    Haha, this is why I love the forum, @MarieAngell makes some great points regarding other possible options and starts asking questions, then @Larynxa comes in and blows me out of the water.

    On reading my OP, it certainly does. Come across as though I am interested purely because of prospects and wages.  While this does form a large part of my process, no point training to be a blacksmith, or continuing to do the Lean and Six Sigma stuff because they will go the same way in the not too distant future  just like its predecessors stretching back to the old Quality Assurance Of the 90’s.

    So I looked for something with longevity and I have some accountant to talk to in the next few days.

    To address your points, MA, training is not something I do terribly well, I have tried to pass on what I do to several people and no matter how much I try to set the. Schedule etc… It never seems to work out properly.  I absorb stuff quickly, often losing it again if I don’t use it, but I have a bad habit of assuming I am teaching me.  Not sure where being in with some people I have known, kids are easier, more absorbent and it is a completely different kettle of fish.

    Recruiting is one I never really looked to hard at, all the jobs I saw in me past seemed to be glorified sales jobs, and having spent a time unemployed before my current 10 year gig, I was rarely impressed with my dealings with them.  So that may have soured my thoughts on that matter.  I am sure there are some good ones out there though.  I see an industry dominated at the higher end here as being  lot of uni qualified UK expats and I know their training makes ours look quite light on.

    As for taxes, my main issue is the lack of records and my big nothing of a filing system.  I did some programming during and just out of high school and it was always pretty easy for me to work within a set of complex fussy little rules And trace bugs, I trace incidents within data networks at the moment, often finding them before the qualified cadet engineers.

    I have done my fair share of service rebate calculations, including taking on some that no-one Else would touch, think multiple contract variations, each changing the price of most circuits services (not always the same ones) over the course of a couple of years, with services not billing,others billing   double and a whole host of other stuff ups  made by a variety of people some no longer around.  I had these babies humming with massive excel spreadsheets, daily rates calculated, changing where appropriate and then fighting with the credit management team because I calculated actual daily rates, they used an equation that in reality wasn’t even close.  (I had this acknowledged bit too hard to change apparently.)

    i currently pay invoices, deal with the vendors,  reconcile their stuff ups, sort out new lines of approval for cost centres and GL’s all as a sideline to my main job managing telco incidents.

    i am a little over the whole IT thing to be honest, too many good people sent packing and theirs jobs shipped overseas and I don’t have the qualifications to ensure its wont be me pin the near future .

    i also spent some time in Real Estate and perhaps this was a good fit for me, with some pretty strict trust accounting rules etc… That I never had a problem with either.

    as for the clerical stuff, if I am right  I should be able to find someone to do this for me at some stage, hopefully building a small business and personal income tax business with the right assistant.

    i like numbers, they make sense.  People, while I enjoy talking to (or is that AT them) don’t make much sense at all, and English was always a tricky subject for me as I saw things most of my teachers just didn’t understand when reading text or poetry (though the university trained linguist I had as a tutor in high school could see where I was coming from.)

    so I don’t think it is purely for the reasons in my initial post, but I see how you got there.  That is why I love ths forum, I can post a half cocked thread, get response and try to clarify it further on, for myself as much a anyone else.

     

    please keep at me, give me all you’ve got.  I can take it

     

    (I think…)

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    in reply to: Depression medications adversely effect working memory? #118539

    Phil, Just Phil.
    Participant
    Post count: 43

    Larynxa, I have often said , everything in moderation.  Too much h2o reduces salt levels in the boday and can kill you.  Phenylalanine is a chemical used to sweeten diet drinks, also a compound used in the brain somehow, yet too much and scientists created baby rats with 2 heads.  Small amounts of alcohol are supposedly good, too much well…  High Oxygen levels can kill you even.

     

    So +1 on your comment, nice to hear it from someone else.

     

    BTW anyone here seen the studies on grapefruit and it’s impact on certain medications?  Dangerous stuff.

     

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    in reply to: How to stop cutting colleagues off #118519

    Phil, Just Phil.
    Participant
    Post count: 43

    That’s a great point Rick, there is nothing people like more than to talk about themselves.  We do it because it feels right, but if you step back and make it your mission to essentially push the other person into talking about themselves, they will remember you fondly.  Not to mention all the stuff you learn from them instead of revealing all yourself.

    Now, how to get better at that…

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    in reply to: How to stop cutting colleagues off #118488

    Phil, Just Phil.
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    Post count: 43

    Yes, that is a great tactic, how does that saying go “better to remain silent and have people think you are stupid, than opemn your mouth and remove all doubt.”

    However, another tactic I have tried in the past is to effectively take control of the information flow and use my empathy to make sure everyone feels valued and heard.  We are generally very empathetic people and if you redirect your attention to this aspect you may be able to slide around your impulse to interrupt, instead trying to find the quiet introverted people and coaxing their viewpoints out.  If the people you are cutting off are truly off-course then these quiet types will have also noticed and you should be able to get them to redirect for you.  We don’t have the natural game playing skills of the linears, but we can learn to play the game our way.

    I also recall doing workshops and effectively taking over the whole thing because it was going nowhere, not very collaborative though.

     

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    in reply to: APPs we need to help with ADD #118487

    Phil, Just Phil.
    Participant
    Post count: 43

    Hi Amy,

    I believe there is a time limit on post edits.

    Astrid Tasks & Todo List is another one I have been using lately.  If I set a todo, it reminds me by asking if I have started yet, if I mioss a call it advises me that people really like to be called back and lets me put off a reminder, do it now or ignore them.

    If you look at it he right way you can probably have a lot of fun with it.  Dont take it’s tone to heart though.

    Tripview Sydney is great for me, it links train, bus and ferry services, lets me set start and finish points, then determines the best public transport links via the timetables.  I had a bus, 2 trains and a ferry to get to the Zoo and all I did was select my bus stop and the zoo, it did all the heavy lifting.

    Oh and now I find Adobe connect is a great app, for the TADD Webinars hehe.

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    in reply to: Question about happiness #118457

    Phil, Just Phil.
    Participant
    Post count: 43

    Hey Tyler, welcome.

    Wow, another post sounding familiar.

    I too am married, with three little ones no less, and as the working half for now I find myself stuck in a job to pay the bills.  Not getting anywhere, in 10 years I have moved up about 4 pay grades when I probably should be up about 8-10.

    I am currently looking at doing University, thinking of a not very ADD friendly one in accounting, but I do all the accounts payable stuff here in addition to managing all service faults and doing anything and everything that is alittle off centre or requires some original thought.  The rest of the crew here just go gaga and haven’t got a clue how to get it done.  But my paperwork is a mess, get the results screw the reports.

    So I think bettering yourself is always a good thing, but remember that yopu are just one half of a whole and you need to be on this journey with your wife.

    Speaknig of wives, does she share and support your diagnosis?  This is a crucial thing and I am working on it right now, stricking the balance between, “it’s an excuse” and “I really need your help” because you can’t use it to escape your responsibilities, nor should you beat yourself up because of the way you are wired.

    Where am I going with this????  I am not really sure but YES better yourself, but beware of dsoing too much too soon and placing too much pressure on your other (better??) half, she is already stressed I’d say and you need her buy in on any journey you wich to take.  Makes it all much easier.

     

    BTW, what do you want to do??

     

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    in reply to: A Journey I am just starting. #118313

    Phil, Just Phil.
    Participant
    Post count: 43

    Yes, welcome.  It is amazing how many of us come to these threads with similar stories.

    Try as you might, it is hard to say the wrong thing here, or come up with an angle that nobody else understands. 

    Get involved, ask questions, share what you are learning.  Some of us will hear it for the first time and others may just need to be reminded so don’t ever think you are not adding value.

     

    Maybe we need to do a spot on rumination and constantly obsessing over past events, hmm….. that could be helpful.

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    in reply to: Listening to Lecture While Working Out #118190

    Phil, Just Phil.
    Participant
    Post count: 43

    Hey welcome Pancakes.  (mmm, welcome pancakes)  err sorry.

    It has been suggested many many times that physical movement helps ADDers with their brain function, so I suggest this is what you are experiencing. 

    Glenn Miller, ha, remember going through a phase during my high school years (about 15 years ago now) loving his back catalogue.  Quite a guitar player too.  Yeah, I found music helped sometimes, otherwise it just compounded my lack of interest in what I was doing.

    World has gone mad indeed Robbo, maybe one day it will be as far gone as we are hehehe. But I think it has gone in a decidedly sad (one) direction. 

    Ouch, just another clown sinking the boot into those boys, Mum would be so proud.

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    in reply to: Things an ADDer WOULD say… #118188

    Phil, Just Phil.
    Participant
    Post count: 43

    Do we have any language restrictions on this site??

    F&%$ed if I know…  (this is one I use a bit now I am comfortable with not knowing everything, err I mean not PRETENDING I know everything.)

    Send me an email with that question in it and I will try to get back to you.

    Hang on, what was that , I wasn’t really listening. (That does get me into trouble though.)

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