[Curlymoe115]

Got a new job, (working for an employment agency, more flexible and tolerant) and the things they get me to do is scary. I had to carry 2 boxes down a long narrow flight of stairs. So I used my elbow to judge when I got to the bottom so I wouldn’t stumble on the last stair. I made it, but it was a pretty harrowing experience.

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[Curlymoe115]

Unfortunately there are more uninformed doctors then there are informed ones. A lot of Dr’s still see this as a kids disorder that you grow out of, the rest of us just suffer from depression or are simply unmotivated.

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[Curlymoe115]

Blood type diet worked for me. Tried a lot of other diets and this is the only one that did work. I’m an O and my spouse is A. Both of us are ADHD. My parents are O and A both ADHD. My grandparents on the maternal side were O and AB- both ADHD. My kids are A and both ADHD. Coincidence or not. Who knows.

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[Curlymoe115]

If you are trying to search whether something is in the Forums, go to the Forums page, then search at the top of the page. It will then bring up everything that is on the subject in the Forums.

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[Curlymoe115]

The truth of the matter is you probably would have had to drop out if you had the added weight of all the domestic realities of the average post secondary student living away from home. But just be grateful for the intervention of your parents in carrying some of the weight so that you could concentrate on school. So what. The fact of the matter is that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. If you feel that you have accepted too much from your parents, the new reality is that in a couple of dozen years they are going to need you to assume the burden of looking after them. Your parents are obviously doing it from a position of love and you just need to be prepared for the next phase of your life. They may continue to help for the first few years after school ends, but eventually you will be wholly responsible for doing everything for yourself. If I were you I would squirrel as much money as possible your first working years so you can hire out all the tasks your parents are willing to do for free. Because it doesn’t get easier when you get into the working world. Good luck with school. Give your parents a big and grateful hug the next time you see them. Appreciate that you have this advantage that millions of people wish they had.

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[Curlymoe115]

When we were kids we moved constantly. My mother would get tired of a house. Bad experiences always increased the rate at which we moved. My mother, of course, always insisted we were buying up. But the case was the house had just hit it’s expiry date in her mind. DH and I both have expiry dates for a job. When things start to get too routine it was time to head for the door. The challenge is gone. I am going to try to go back to work and see about working for an employment agency. They have a built in period where you only work their days, weeks or months so there is no getting into the rut. We’ll see how that goes. DH has always worked for the Union Hall so his pension is taken care of by them, and he still gets the variety of moving around.

A lot of our parents were raised that it was expected that they would be in the same grind forever. I guess they got ansy that is why they always worked for places that gave a good amount of vacation time so that the more years they worked the more time they spent off work. My father worked for the same company for 35 years. At the end they gave him a cheap knock off watch. He had ruined his health and his hearing, and worked without a raise for 10 years. He was a store manager and had reached the peak salary range. They found they could lure kids away from other work places like chain restaurants and they were willing to work for 20 grand less. But his commitment kept him there. While he saw his employees getting a yearly raise and better working conditions, more vacation time, better benefits he saw his own deteriorating. Finally at 63 when another year passed and the promised raise turned into a 500 dollar lump sum payment he retired. Now he is free to say whatever he wants, and he does. But instead of vacationing or picking up a new hobby, he volunteers. He fills those same hours with a myriad of volunteer duties that would make your head spin. NO time is unscheduled. For no pay. The difference is that these agencies appreciate what he brings to the table. They look at the skill set that he spent his whole working life acquiring as a gift and they tell him how much they enjoy his company. A lot different from a company that told him that he was expected to every opening hour with less employees and time, so he had to work 60 or 70 hours a week himself to make sure someone was always there. Then when he didn’t have time to even schedule a lunch hour little lone the million other things he used to have time to do in the store, his personal rating always took a hit. So I guess the pay off is to his self esteem which had been suffering a stunning series of blows.

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[Curlymoe115]

Psychiatrists spend a lot of time observing your physiological reactions in their office. They do not usually do invasive testing because presumably you were referred by your physician before you got to this office. At least that is how it works in Alberta. My doctor did put me on the scale so we could judge the difference in weight gain or loss with the new medications. He also sends me for a lot of blood tests to check blood saturation levels. Mine works in the University Hospital so he has access to equipment to order other tests normally done at the hospital but usually they would refer you to a neurologist or other internist to get these done by the specialists in the field and would then get a report just like your family doctor does. I went for a sleep study and all it determined was I did not have a life threatening apnea. This was done over one night, in my own bed, while hooked up to the machine. Although I woke up many times during the night, and did have a few hours of wakefulness they determined that I did not need a sleep machine so no follow up was done. Their recommendation was sew a tennis ball in my pajama back so I did not roll onto my back. Good enough. But at least then they know that my wakefulness is not brought on from my gasping for air in my sleep. The other problems and anxieties are what brought me to my psychiatrist in the first place.

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[Curlymoe115]

I think that anyone who has ever had more than one job in their life has to deal with at least one adult bully. This individual makes it their life work to ride herd over those people that they want to get rid of, and they usually do this one or two people at a time. Usually because of the attrition they cause at work they usually make it to a middle management or supervisory position unless they are stopped by management before this happens. Someone with ADD or ADHD often makes a good target because we already stand out and they are looked at as a person who is always looking out for Managements best interests. When I meet these type of people I eventually just concede the field. If the management is unable to see what they are doing and I am being penalized at their say so, then this is certainly not the type of workplace I want to be in. Then I stay home for a while and lick my wounds.

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[Curlymoe115]

Is it really about perfectionism or control. I find that their are so many areas of my life out of control that when I find an area of my life that I am good at, I have to have control. From Dh’s work, leisure ect to my kids. When I was working I felt like I had to be everything to everyone. My GF is a manager with a company. She works 70 or more hours regularly. She goes into the office at 10 am and walks out at midnight or better. Fridays are their busy day and she walks out at 6 am Saturday morning. She is often called into work on her weekends. When she goes on vacation they give her a cell phone to keep in tough if they need her. Her health has suffered. She is only 42 but she has already had 2 heart attacks. She has had cataracts from too much close work. She gets sick all the time. She can’t regulate her weight and often eats food which makes her sick because it is convenient. Her boss often has screaming fits and calls her a bunch of names and is literally spitting mad. Because she is divorced with no children he figures that she is not entitled to a life outside of work. She manages 50 employees (give or take they are always having people quit because of the amount of work and the hostile work environment) who make little more then minimum wage. Yet because she is willing to put up with this she figures that they owe body and soul to work as well. They often leave her in the lurch and she uses this excuse to justify why she can’t take the time back that is owed to her. She has canceled vacation time when work needs intercede. All the male managers in her workplace that are the same level as her make 20 grand more then her. They are able to leave at a reasonable time and they respect that they are off the clock when they leave. One day I will get a call that she has been hospitalized or died. Yet after 7 years of this she is still unable to quit. Now on top of her many other duties they have heaped new ones on her and she is expected to travel 4 days a week trying to drum up new business for the company so that she is not having to lay off more people. Her ex had the job before her and he was never expected to do what she is doing. He had an assistant to handle all the day to day problems and an office door that acted as a gate between them. She moved her desk out into the main work area so she could Control everything that was going on. Now they feel free to stop at her desk to carp about everything. She personally proofs everything before it is sent away. For 60 employees. Nothing leaves the department without her signature. When mistakes are made she has made herself responsible. Then her boss is back threatening and bullying again. Even after eye surgery she only gave herself a morning off. She is always in limbo between hoping and dreading that they will fire her. They would have to pay her a severance package that would allow her time to find a new job. But at 42 when is she going to realize life is too short for the life she leads.

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[Curlymoe115]

We are pretty equal opportunity, so welcome. There are many different ways that you can learn to focus. The first thing you should do is try to learn a little bit more about what ADD is and what it means in your life. If you have been on Concerta for a while you probably don’rt remember what it was like before the Concerta. Medications can help with focus and correct some of the symptoms, but just like with your keys, not everything goes away. Being only 15 a lot of your problems are being handled by your parents. So use this time before the responsibilities of adulthood and all the myriad of things that go with it to learn who you are. When you find out what makes you concentrate these are skills you should try to replicate. Try doing things early morning when the medication is at it’s peak. If you can, get a notebook and start to write down how you feel at different parts of the day. With my daughters, I have found that they each have their own strengths and weaknesses. So be open to trying new things until you hit on something that you are good at and like to do. This should help with the focus problems at least in the short term. Just be aware that one of the side affects is hyperfocus, so try not to concentrate on one thing to the exclusion of everything else in your life. Good Luck.

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[Curlymoe115]

Instead of anti-depressants have you tried the birth control patch. I used it for 5 years straight. No period, no problem. Once every year I would have to remove it, have a break through period, then go back on it. This may eliminate the worst of your symptoms. You don’t know until you try. My mother had a hysterectomy when she was 42, she was bleeding period heavy on a daily basis. My sister and I both had constant bleeding for years, she went for the depo shot and this worked for the first 6 months but the second time it didn’t work at all. I had the balloon appellation where they put a balloon full of 200 degree water into the cavity and burn off the lining of the uterus. 98 percent of women who get this done never have a period again. In their life. I, of course, am part of the other 2 percent, and within days it had started again. Then my doctor prescribed the patch. No periods, no pms, no problems. When I had to have the balloon therapy they had fixed me, so it wasn’t as though we wanted more children. And I didn’t miss the sore breasts, mood swings, nervousness, panic attacks and all the other things that went with “the curse”. I have now been off the patch for 6 months with no return to the bleeding. My periods now last 2 or 3 light days instead of 5 heavy days. I do get the soreness, and some of the other symptoms lightly but the worst of it is gone. Maybe I am ready to embrace “the change” as I have been getting more hot flashes and other symptoms. I had a friend who had the whole enchillada removed and she has worse symptoms then a lot of women who only have the uterus removed. So if you do decide to go the hysterectomy route make sure they leave the ovaries.

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[Curlymoe115]

I think inattention to detail is definitely connected to ADD as well as doing things without fully thinking through the consequences. We are always in such a hurry to complete the job we rarely think logically through the steps to get the job done. A plugged in extension cord being cut could potentially have killed you or at least seriously hurt you. Looking back you see the error of this but at the time didn’t it just seem expedient to get it done. We also get distracted so we reach for something without even thinking about it, or grab it with a cloth that isn’t appropriate for the task.

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[Curlymoe115]

When Pigpen was little she used to empty out her drawers to find one thing she wanted. Everything ended up on the floor. So her social worker suggested that we limit her room to 3 sets of clothes. She could wear that or nothing. Everything else got bundled up and locked up in the laundry room cupboard. My mother never threatened to take away our things if we didn’t pick them up. We would come home from school, she would hand us a garbage bag and tell us to fill it. Then it went to the good will for a needy boy or girl who would appreciate it more then us lazy good for nothing kids. If you hadn’t worn it, used it, or looked for it in 2 weeks obviously we were done with it and out the door it went. My mother always said she wasn’t a good enough housekeeper to allow us to collect anything. The only exception was laundry. The pile in the laundry room would get 3 feet high before someone would get down to it. Then we would all be responsible to take it to our rooms and fold it and put it away. My BFF would have a stack of clothes on a chair or the end of her bed, you could never tell what was clean or dirty. If that had been my room they would have long been out the door but her mother let her live like that. That is probably why I have such an attachment to things now. Psychiatrist today said I was a hoarder. What insight into the human psyche that man has. Of course as he is saying it he is rolling over papers below the chair at his desk. Pot meet kettle.

I don’t mind the washing, drying and folding of laundry but I am terrible at the putting away. It makes it onto the dresser or into a laundry basket but I rarely take the time to hang up clothes. Dryers make great irons, just toss a damp towel into the dryer with the shirts and good as a trip to the drycleaners. My stepmother loves to iron, she irons everything from underwear to sheets. Sick woman. But she does no other housework but laundry. The amount of cat hair would choke an elephant, but her sheets are stiff with spray starch. 😆

When we were kids my mother got tired of us always arguing about whose turn it was to load or unload the dishwasher and the dishes never made it past the sink. So she told us the dishwasher was broken. Now instead of 5 minutes loading or unloading we had to hand wash and dry everything and still had to gather the dishes and then put them away. And we had to use her system. Glasses first, then cutlery, then dishes and finally pots and pans. No tv until the dishes were done. Bathrooms also had to be shone to a gleam. Polished taps on top of everything else. My brother never had to do housework. While my sister and I had to clean everything he got to go fishing or out with his friends. But he had middle child syndrome and he still figures that he wasn’t loved as much as us. I would have loved to be as ill treated as him.

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[Curlymoe115]

I always find it amazing that they don’t see the dirty washroom, when the toilet paper roll is empty they can place a new roll on the counter in the bathroom but that 2 ft stretch to actually remove the old one and replace it with new is beyond human capability, the counter can be covered in food but they will get down a plate not to touch it, but can’t wet a clean cloth with soap and water to wipe it, and things tumble to the floor and no one sees it. I guess in our case the question “if a tree fell in the forest, would anyone hear it” is a resounding no. So it falls to me. DH’s mother was ADHD as well, but she had a cleaning bug. She could also run a green house business, teach flower arranging courses, volunteer in the community and a million other things. She never sat down and insisted that everything was easy. Superwoman syndrome is bad for her daughter-in-laws because the son’s are looking for a woman who is willing to wipe their butts like she did. I ain’t no superwoman. I hate cleaning, necessary evil and I am willing to do my part but my Borg designation ain’t 1 of 1 it is 1 of 4. So why would I want to do everything for everyone. DH does his best but he is a perfectionist. 2 hours to do the bathroom, and an hour and a half to fold and put away 1 load of laundry. I don’t need hospital corners on my shirts, I am just going to put it on again and wear it. More likely the first piece of food to touch these lips end up dripping onto the shirt and it joins its sisters in the laundry hamper waiting to be bleached clean again. That’s why everything I buy is a multiple. Completely interchangeable. Of course I hate clothes shopping, and when I find something I like I buy five or 6. Then when I do have to get new stuff I find that it is no longer available and I end up having to find something new I like. I don’t buy trendy clothes, so why is it not still available. But that is a rant for another time.

Bathrooms and kitchens are two areas you can’t really compromise on. They will both literally make you sick. And once a day I go around collecting cups, plates and silverwear to put in the dishwasher. There are only 4 of us here, but we go through 20 or more cups a day. Since I only drink water, I pick one cup and use it for the day. It usually is right beside the water cooler or on my tv tray (we solved the dilemma of crap on the dining room table by taking down the table) so where do the other 19 cups come from. And how are dishes literally from the backyard to every room in the house. Do they develop legs and walk. I swear Not Me is the fifth person who lives here. Because Not Me does everything in this house. To bad Not Me couldn’t help out a little more. 😆

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[Curlymoe115]

When the kids were little they loved to pour the stuff into the toilet and swish it around with that brush. Then we set the timer for 5 minutes and they got to flush. It made them so excited to do it. Where has that glorious time gone. I invested in 2000 flushes. We also have lysol wipes and when I go to the washroom in the morning I wipe down the toilet. Then throw it away and wash my hands. My nemesis is the bathtub. I hate to do that job. I usually remember to spray it down, then I walk away to allow it to sit for a few minutes then I hear the shower come on, someone has got in before it got wiped down. Oh well, at least the cleaner gets put on it, so it can’t be that bad.

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