[Curlymoe115]

I don’t know whether it is a lot more common, in reality, for Social Services to take more of an interest in us and our kids. When mine were little they always came sniffing around. When Pigpen was older and we went asking them for help they were less then helpful. They finally decided that the best thing was if she left home and went to live with her grandfather because he was 2000 miles away from the trouble she was in. They had no programs for teen girls in Alberta, lots of programs for teen boys. A lot of ADD and ADHD people I know have a lot of Social workers coming around. You should insist that they administer a drug test instead of just accusing you. I trip over my own feet. Good luck dealing with these people. Most of them come from troubled backgrounds themselves so they often see the boogie man where none exists, and then they work with true abusers for months and years longer then these children should be there.

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[Curlymoe115]

Well there are only two countries in the world where my height would be above average. Malaysia and Indonesia. At 4 ft 101/2 I am on the short side. Except not having to get a crick in my neck when looking on the bottom shelf and able to crawl into small areas (except my weight is higher then average) there are not a lot of upsides to my height. DH is 5 ft 7 so he puts everything on the top shelf and I am forever having to get things to push it off the shelf or get out the ladder. As the population in Canada is much taller on average even petite now ranges from 5 ft 5 and below. So that means that every pair of petite pants I get I have to chop off 6 1/2 inches. Clothes just don’t fit right. Imagine climbing the shelves at the grocery store that refuses to front their products. How many times have I been scolded by store staff for climbing a ladder to get something they refuse to put low enough. I appreciate a person of height. They can reach everything that I can’t. I always have dangly legs on seats and couches. Most companies also get shoes in 7, 8, or 9 because that is what the “average” woman now buys. My size they bring in 3 pairs and I am battling 60 year old women for them. To join the military I had to have special permission because I was too short, and the average checked pace was 10 inches and mine is 8. So I was always running to keep up. For every 1 step a tall person takes I must take 2. Good thing I walk pretty fast.

So maybe that is why I find ADHD just like any other problem in my life. Everything I want to do is 2 paces away when for everyone else it is only 1. And sometimes I am just too tired or too weak to keep pacing.

Trashman- I wouldn’t put too much store in IQ tests. A lot of factors can change your IQ score including ADHD which can distract you from a good test result. Spend your life doing things that make you happy and therefore live the best life possible. My aunt was hit by a car when she was 4. She can remember every birthday and remarkable things about all of our lives but she has been assessed as functioning at a 13 year old level. She is 62, raised 2 children, volunteers regularly at schools and nursing homes, and is generally a loving woman but she needs help in a lot of aspects of her life. At 45 she finally graduated from highschool. She was also the main caregiver of her mother for the last 3 years of her life. We are all different abled doesn’t mean completely disabled. I have had pneumonia a couple of dozen times in my life, I now suffer from asthma like conditions and get winded. But my grandfather has ALS so he has trouble even breathing on his own. So it could be worse. Focus on what is going right and not what is wrong and you will make it through the day. When we spend so much time focusing only on the negative it is hard to have the energy to carry on.

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[Curlymoe115]

What we need is a report button on posts.

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[Curlymoe115]

When I was 8 months pregnant with Pigheaded I was going to get groceries, missed the bottom 2 steps and ended up severely spraining my ankle. I was then having to hop up and down the stairs to look after 4 year old Pigpen and so was hobbling up and down stairs and having to take her to daycare. The only thing that made the ankle better was the fluid they forced through me when I had a c-section with Pigheaded. Suddenly for the first time in weeks it didn’t hurt.

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[Curlymoe115]

I fall upstairs all the time. I tentatively place my foot down when I feel I am coming to the last stair because I have fallen up or down the stairs a lot. I also always seem to stumble in the crack of sidewalks and fall off curbs. My doctor told me that I have poor situational balance. I completely lose sight of where I am and misjudge distances. My friends also scolded me a lot growing up of walking on them or bumping into them. I could never walk in a straight line, I always tended to end up walking into them. In the winter especially I spend a lot of time falling on the ice. I also have turned my ankle dozens of times just by putting my feet down wrong. When driving I tend to ride the inner line of the lane.

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[Curlymoe115]

If you really want to get out of jury duty, when they ask you if you can be impartial tell them you always go with your first impression. Then tell them that you are pretty sure the person is guilty. For me it would be like being a voyeur. You get a front seat at a trial where you hear the ins and outs of the case. Everyone is looking and speaking to me. I have been summoned twice for Jury Duty, the first time I couldn’t do it, no child care. The second time I wanted to do it (pretty high profile murder case) but I was too far into the jury pool. Another 13 had already been selected.

I did a security position where I was paid to go through peoples stuff. They actually paid me to look through your bag, purse, pockets ect. I saw some pretty interesting stuff. Talked to some pretty interesting people. Just think, if you went into a restaurant and picked up the woman next to you purse you would be at minimum escorted from the restaurant. But I was not only handed her purse, but she had to let me look through the whole purse and be helpful when I asked questions about why she kept what she did in it. And after looking in thousands of bags let me tell you, no two people ever carry the same things. I mean there are some similarities but there are also a lot of differences. So the next time you are going to the courthouse put something different in your bag, pocket, purse or whatever. Make their day. It gets pretty boring for these security people (at least in Canada) and they need something to break up their day. Loved the work, hated the office politics. But then I am a people watcher.

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[Curlymoe115]

ADHD is like juggling more and more balls. If you weren’t diagnosed until you were an adult then you did not have enough balls in the air. When we were living at home or just married we often had “people” that took care of a lot of the caretaking tasks. But the more stress and pressure we under the more the impairment shows up. In careers like acting it may seem like a gift to be able to perform on cue. But at a job with a deadline and multiple phases of work the impairment can seem like it is all encompassing. Medications can help mitigate some of the symptoms and help you make it through the workday. But these same miracle drugs can cause a lot more problems in your life.

All that said this website is a general website that is there for everyone. The people that chime in to answer a letter are only able to give you an answer of something that worked in their life. We all have strengths and weaknesses and what works for some may be impossible for others. Skip ahead. Instead of feeling judged and found wanting just remind yourself that they are not making a personal judgement about you because they don’t know you. They know nothing about your life beyond what you have chosen to share. And as others have said you don’t know their personal struggles. It is easy to give advice to others that we would find impossible to implement in our own life. The message may be fantastic but no one said it was right for you or was even possible for you to do. I’m usually early my dh is usually late. I can stand at the door and drill sergeant him out the door but he soon comes to resent it and me. And what happens the day I am not there to do it. Dh is better at organization and cleaning. I soon get pretty bitter and angry when he is carping on me to get more done. I am doing my best. Get over it. The nice thing about this site is that you don’t know these people and they aren’t going to follow you home.

So in conclusion, if you think that the advice could work for you give it a try. If not skip ahead to the next topic, suggestion or day. We all like to contribute but what is right for me may be disastrous for you. Sorry ahead of time if anything I say makes you question your own impairment. I can only give advice that has worked, could work or I tried. I have a lot of family members with ADHD, some more impaired then others. So I am looking at this site through the glasses of co-dependency.

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[Curlymoe115]

My psychiatrist does not believe in ADHD in adults. You go into his office, he sits behind his desk (piled 3 feet high with file folders) and starts searching for my folder, while saying vague placeholders like “Remind me again what we said last time” and if it wasn’t for the fact that his secretary gave him a list of names with appointments he wouldn’t even know who to call. Then after 3 or 4 minutes he is able to find my file. Then while I am still reminding him he starts to read the file.

Behind his desk he has 3 more of these file piles and then a bagged lunch, shoes, umbrellas (3), and a multitude of other things. There are paths leading to the one available chair in the room, and book shelves about 6 feet off the ground filled with books and other things. So if you ever hear of a doctor buried alive in his office you will know that this is my psychiatrist. His office makes me anxious. Disorder and chaos always do. But he doesn’t believe in adult ADHD. He is also a department head and university professor at a teaching university. No wonder we never got past medication prescription to actual therapy. It was always try this, test for that. Monday I am going to beard the lion in his office. And when he starts maybe I will bring up his hoarding and ask why he does not invest in a file cabinet and allow his secretary to file all these folders. More secure for the patients, he might actually be able to find what he is looking for (he only does 6 appointments a day) and the appointments might be more productive.

Wreckedangle: Did he say you are just ADD or did he mention all of your co-morbids contribute to your problems. It’s not paranoid if people have been out to get you. Supposedly your new psychiatrist is ADD and is on medications if he recognized his own condition. Here is hoping that this is a great step in the right direction. A lot of us suffer from a whole host of co-morbid conditions which contribute to our problems. ADD and ADHD are not straight line disorders they are impairments that happen on a continuum. It is often very difficult to sort out what pieces in the pile go with what puzzle and how each mini puzzle makes up the big picture. Everyone is different. Medicating for one mini puzzle often interferes or worsens others. The brain really is the most misunderstood part of the human body and it is moderately or massively influenced and effected by nurture, nature and a host of other things. What is normal, how do you judge normal. A brain scan can tell you what areas of my brain are firing, but it can never tell you what I have been through, how I was brought up, how I will react. Don’t get discouraged if your doctor does not turn out to be the answer you were looking for. One step in front of the other.

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[Curlymoe115]

Here is my list.

Easy: Starting a new project and racing through it like a maniac and there is a timer ticking down and I can’t let it stop.

Difficult: Following all the sequences and taking the time to make sure that it is completed with complete accuracy and NEATNESS.

Easy: Starting a cold conversation with a stranger.

Difficult: Not butting into conversations that are happening between two or more strangers, in line, in a restaurant, on a bus, ect..

Easy: Telling someone how to organize their house, life, bank account, driving instructions ect.

Difficult: Actually following through on anything to organize any of the above.

Easy: Telling a story that will have you rolling in the aisle.

Difficult: Listening to you tell a story without commenting “blah, blah, blah, I don’t need to hear all the gritty details”and rolling my eyes. Keep it snappy and quick.

Easy: Preparing a meal for 4 to 40 people at the last minute at your house.

Difficult: Getting my house de-cluttered enough to have people over.

Easy: Getting a job that I love.

Difficult: Maintaining that love once I get started and it starts to get boring or people start making “constructive criticism”

I can read books, (read the end first to see if I like where the story is going so I don’t “waste” my time on something I am not going to find very satisfactory.)

I can do research on just about any subject. Remember the guy who used to tell you the rest of the story. Most of my life is like that, I have to know it all.

I get phone calls in the middle of the day from friends who get lost because I can literally picture where they are if I have been there before or I can google map it and get them where they need to go.

I am a walking trivia guide and I know lots of irrelevant things. I even remember enough to talk to your insurance company and they never even know it isn’t you.

I am an innovator and I love to try new things.

I will fight to the death for something when I know I am right, or winning.

I love to be entertained.

I am usually on time or early and don’t need to use a daytimer.

I have a very good sense of direction and don’t usually get lost. I just explore a new way.

I can sell ice to Eskimos.

I am a little too competitive. Friends and family do not find it fun to play games with me. I am just a little too intense.

I hate housework or routine things.

I hate wasting my time on things that I didn’t find valuable.

I can’t read a map.

When things start to slip out of control they usually pick up speed and everything is thrown off.

Clutter and disorganization messes with my brain wave patterns so when things get too far out of whack everything just seems to spiral out of control.

Can’t sell anything to others without feeling guilty and responsible for any decision they made because of what I told them.

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[Curlymoe115]

Try the site bigfishgames.com they have a ton of free online games that you can play. You play them right on the site. My favorites are the hidden object games that I have to spend a lot of time studying the picture to find the objects. I am always accused of not being very observant so this helps me strengthen that part of my visual acuity and I can spend hours learning.

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[Curlymoe115]

Try http://www.caloriecount.about.com it has a counter for exercise, and a diet component. It also helps you plan meals, and will tailor a food plan to what you eat. It also lets you set a goal and track how you are doing as well as a on-line community to help with the support.

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[Curlymoe115]

I have “shoplifting” incidents. I will pick something up, it will be in my hand. Then a short while later DH or whoever I am with will ask me if I have decided to buy anything. No, I didn’t find anything. Out of the store I will walk, get into the car and then suddenly I will go to get something out of my purse or pocket and put what I have in my lap or on the table if we go to eat. And there it is. The thing I am holding, that I didn’t pay for. So back to the store I go and pay for something that I really had no intention of buying. Can’t tell you how many times that has happened to me. And it will be something silly. The first time I was 14 and it was a receipt book. Then we went out to ride the pony that you put change in. And there it was. That time I just snuck it back in and put it on the shelf.

The checking through the purse and not finding something really resonates with me. I am always searching for something and will go through every inch of the bag and then when I am looking for something else, the item I was sure had been lost or stolen will turn up there. Frustrating.

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[Curlymoe115]

I joined Primerica a year ago March. It sounded interesting, I had to go to classes to get my life insurance classes. I had no problem attending the classes, passed the test with 94%. Had to take the Provincial Exam, got 80 percent even though a lot of the material was not covered in the down and dirty Primerica class.Got one of the highest marks on the Provincial exam and the congratulations were gratifying. But through all this I did not do one sales call. After I was licensed right up until I let it lapse in February of 2011, I did not set up one call. The whole point of the business was to make sales calls and while I would be selling the product I was also supposed to be actively recruiting other people into the business. Easy Peasy except I couldn’t do it. You are first supposed to start with your hot market (friends and family) and through them visit their friends and relatives and continue to prospect. How could I use my friends to make a sale. For a term insurance product that I didn’t even necessarily think was right for them. What if there was a problem and I lost the friendship because of what I sold them. Sure a lot of the stuff could have been beneficial but some of it is just down right goofy. And for a multi-level marketing sales like Amway (and if you are a great believer in Amway, Bestline, or whatever they are calling themselves today, don’t mean to offend) where you inducted people and sold things all so you could have a life time income based on selling the idea of a dream and trying to make enough sales to win vacations. At the core it just seemed a little sleazy. And the ones that are really good at it, they seemed a little too slick and sleazy as well. So if being good means I would have to abandon my conscience at the door I would rather not.

I can sell ice cubes to Eskimos if I believe in something. But I have never done this for profit. We can be sitting at the till waiting to pay and they will ask me about something in my cart and then I start the spiel on why I picked this product and what its main selling features are. I have all the facts and figures on the tip of my tongue. By the time we are finally checking out I have often convinced them to run back and grab one or at least keep it in mind for the next they need whatever it is. I am not being arrogant, I am just that way. But if I have to sell something that I am only half convinced about there is no way I could do it. I would end up telling them all the negative things as well as the positive. Then if they still decided to buy it I would be absolved of the responsibility if something went wrong.

On another note, when I had my business, I had more customers then I could handle. I was running 17 hours a day, 7 days a week and couldn’t keep up. But when I first started I was really struggling. Then we hit on the right contact and the doors opened. We operated a Senior’s Business and these are a hard group to convince to take a chance. For the first 5 months we had 3 clients. Then we met a woman who had a Senior’s column in the local paper. She was sent to us by an agency we went to see about getting some work. She did a three hour interview with us, checked out our credentials, made sure we were lawfully licensed, insured, registered with the BBB and finally that we were honest and straightforward. After she was convinced of our sincerity, she did an article about us, then allowed us to advertise on her page. Suddenly the phone was ringing off the hook. As part of our new campaign we also used the article as an introduction of our business and what we stood for. All the planning in the world meant nothing compared to this one article in a publication that they trusted. We went from 3 clients to 140 within 6 weeks.

no-dopamine, when I was a kid I used to deliver a friends newspapers every morning. I never got a dime for it. Finally after 2 years she quit and she recommended I take over the route. I had no problem delivering the paper but could not go to the door and collect the money. Just couldn’t do it. A few times I would force myself and I always felt so bad taking money from them (luckily I got over that by the time I started my business) or they would tell me they didn’t have any money this week, or to come back next week. By the time I quit the route a lot of them owed me 2 or more months. I had been paying for the paper out of my own money for all of that time. Then when I finally had to collect all the money to turn it over to the new person I had my dad go with me. The comments were all the same, why was I collecting so much money. Why didn’t I come when it was only for a few weeks. I did but you kept putting me off. So after that we did the Pennysaver because you got paid by the company and there was no collecting involved.

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[Curlymoe115]

When I met my friend V at work we finally became friends after a few months. She said a lot of people didn’t know how to take me. I can say the most outrageous things with a completely straight face. No hint that I am joking. Most people don’t know if I am joking until they have known me for a while. I am very sarcastic and tongue in cheek about life. I rarely take anything completely serious and if I am really nervous I start to laugh, even when laughter is the absolute worst response. Just the way my brain handles stress. So when the school started pointing these things out about pigheaded I said well it is just her way of processing it, and it certainly isn’t meant to be offensive. Who better to understand this then the woman who laughed at her last accident, in front to the police officer. Young lady, I don’t think you realize how serious this is. Of course I do, and in an hour or so I will be in inconsolable tears, but for right now my adrenal system has taken over. Get over it. You don’t know me, so get off your high horse and stop judging me.

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[Curlymoe115]

In Alberta I was booked into a sleep study and then had to go in and pick up the machine and do it at home. I have a slight sleep apnea (but only if I roll onto my back, suggested I get a shirt with a half tennis ball sewed into it) and they did the sleep study in one night. I have my own room, I call it my cave because with my new room darkening covers, fan blowing on me and my blankets tucked under my chin I am warm and snug. But even with all of these things I still do not sleep through the night. And when I wake up I have to get up and move around. Then 2 or 3 hours later I finally get back to sleep. I am a great believer in the afternoon nap.

I do know that my psychiatrist would prescribe meds for my numerous conditions and then he would give me a lab form so that he could check a number of balances in my system so that he had imperical data on how I was fairing on medications. He also wanted my anecdotal take on how I was fairing on the medications. So you maybe surprised that his only reaction to taking someone elses meds would be to just ask you how it made you feel. Be as honest as you can. A year is a very long time to go for an assessment and if you find the symptoms completely debilitating then you would of course be desperate.

A lot of doctors are still hung up on stimulants being addictive yet they continue to prescribe things like Oxycontin for pain or morphine. Completely addictive substances but if they help you deal with the pain then they are good. But even when you tip over into addiction they often can’t recognize the symptoms. My 80 year old granny was a drug addict completely addicted to Oxycontin. She was too disciplined to abuse it, but she would watch the clock for hours before it was time for her next dose. Her pain became truly agonizing as she waited for that dose. But before the T3’s ate through her stomach lining she was able to be pain free right up to the time of her next dose. Yet even with other family members urging the doctor to change her medications he refused to do so. He was convinced that since she was not wolfing them down like candy that her addictions were manageable. This woman went from being active in the community to zoning out in a blissful state right after she had taken her next dosage to walking the floors continuously for hours before the next dose was due. She stopped leaving the house, she stopped doing her “work” and became a clock watcher. Then she died of a heart attack brought on by her addiction.

So if you get a feeling of slowing down your brain chemistry from a stimulant then it is probably appropriate for a stimulant to be prescribed as long as you journal your feeling and you have a trusted advisor watch to make sure that it does not become an addiction. If you have no past addiction issues and you are truly not using these as a high, then you aren’t really abusing drugs. I have never heard of stimulant meds clearing sinuses but perhaps this was a benefit for your friend so as a last ditch effort she offered this solution to you. Whatever the case when you are finally diagnosed with whatever then you already have an idea of a medicine that you are interested in trying. Ancedotaly you already think it will have a therapeutic benefit. So then once he prescribes it he will probably send you back for blood work to check how your body is processing the drugs.

On another note, I can never get zen. I have tried meditation but no matter how much I tried thoughts always penetrated into my brain. The more I tried to block these thoughts the more they bombarded me. Yoga is too slow. I do better when I am huffing and puffing instead of trying to fold myself into a pretzel. So I am happy that you have found something that is working for you.

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