[Shadow Nexus]

@Filmbuff984, @ashockley55, @haraldbenz, I’m curious about how long it’s been since you were diagnosed.

In 1995, I was tested again a few years ago. Soon after, I had a prescription for it. What a difference!  More focus, direction, and easier to read. Reading three books at once now.   🙂

 

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[Shadow Nexus]

I asked this question, a few years back. Is there is connection between the two?  ADHD in some form is micro-sleep for some, related to sleep disorders.  I have both. How many of you have both?

 

 

 

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[Shadow Nexus]

I got them. Thanks all.

 

 

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[Shadow Nexus]

Hi. Apply for state medi-cal(different name different state). There should be a public medical clinic nearby. I get my ADHD meds as part of my care. They work to give all that energy some direction. An unexpected effect is making your emotions more stable.

Now imagine that going on years after you get a degree. I’m a 40’s something. I was too proud and young to see I never a had chance at a regular job. I only applied for disability in 2008, got it on the first try(rare). Most people have no idea ADHD is a disability, let alone a seriously bad disability. Your best bet is self-employment, find your local college get financial aid for career advice.

This is economy period is one of the two worst in American history. That’s due to disastrous financial policy financial changes over last 40 years. I’ll not get into that, check “linktv.org” for more info. Everybody is hurting.

Don’t let pride get in your way. Do what you need to do. Admit your “disabled” and get whatever government help you need. Most public agency’s won’t help you with psychology counseling. I found a way around that. Apply for the smallest unit college class you can find. Colleges usually offer counseling services. You have professional to talk to and didn’t cost much, college fees minus financial aid.

Coming here and asking for help is a good first step. You think your screwed right?  Well, i’m 20 years older and really screwed.  😉

 

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[Shadow Nexus]

Some of you are again missing the point. We have them. It’s just a matter of finding yours. Film and Television is a skill I never knew I had until I took that first class. Then, “Wow! This is fun and easy.” Start trying new things, sooner or later you bump into your superpower.

Our brains are structured differently. We think differently, see the world unlike anyone else. We have strong weaknesses and strengths. Most people have their abilities fairly balanced, My auditory memory is really bad. I make up for that in visual memory that is superhuman.

Could be separate from ADHD? I don’t think so. Single-mindedness(hyper-focus) is one of the common abilities we have. Personality is very complex issue. I’m definitely complex. 😉

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[Shadow Nexus]

I’v introduced a topic like that. We need local groups and a ADHD convention. I’v mentioned that idea too.

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[Shadow Nexus]

Lets hear more. I’v heard of artists on here.

We’re big picture people. When people are buried in details, we see the world above.

When inspiration strikes, i’m a man possessed. My hands starts to fly on the keyboard. The film plays in my head. The scenes unfold and character speak and interact. I come out the trance with many pages written.

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[Shadow Nexus]

Me, I’v been taking it for nearly a year. Over the last few months, my sex drive has turned to my teen level. I’v been able to block sex and romantic notations out, save once a week porn morning. Not lately, i’m going to get my doctor to help. It could be regular exercising. This just getting ridiculous. 🙄

I’m not with anyone now. That is not like to ever happen. Can’t relate to most people, so dating is a real problem. I doubt find anyone. Dating sites, random meetings, and so many other ways are a waste of time. Doomed to…. End rant, don’t want to talk about it.

Most people think they are ‘unique’, just disillusional lemmings. I’m the real ‘Unique’, think creative artist. I’m hoping to make a local ADHD support to find more people I can relate too. I’ll let everyone know if find any info from the doctor.

>Have you noticed any other changes, such as increased socializing, spending, feeling more adventurous or outgoing? …

Yea, I can follow conversations better. I was already adventurous. I still get drained from communication with ‘normal’ people.

Meeting someone is mostly luck, the right

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[Shadow Nexus]

I drink a big glass of sugar drink before bed. Makes me go to bed faster. It’s sounds strange, but works great. Now, melatonin really helps me get to sleep.

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[Shadow Nexus]

Read my post, what’s your superpower? Think about the amazing things we can do. Say something about them.

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[Shadow Nexus]

I’ll post the link as soon get the chance. I still need to polish the original text. It’s under ‘religion and add’ topic, I think.

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[Shadow Nexus]

Missing the point… read my post again.

>Give a shout-out for your positive benefits. All the cool things you can do with your ADHD superpowers like high IQ, hyper-reflexes, hyper-endurance, hyper-creativity, etc. We sometimes forget about our superhuman abilities.

Negative Negative Negative Negative. We do so much whining and complaining on here. We forget that in each ADHD individual we have a “superpower”, to each their own. You have it, but you may not know what that is. NO MORE COMPLAINING! Geez, people I know were impulse by nature and get off track., one more negative and I’ll repost this.

>However if I had a superpower it would most definitely be creativity. I love nothing more then to create art . Something that hyper focus has come in handy for as sometimes I create several pieces in a day and will work from waking tell my body gives out to sleep.

Lets try this again…. So, your creativity is high. Now, that’s what I call a superpower. Embrace it and know how cool it is to have an art superpower. My superpower is mechanical intuition. What’s yours, think about it?

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[Shadow Nexus]

90% of the time in the first one I spend away. Now, it’s about 70%. Got a friend nearby and parents house to goto in case it’s gets loud. Various ways to escape. Singing helps too. It annoying to hear about the trivial things that bother some,”how bad things are?”. Geez, live mine for three months and see if you don’t loose your sanity or off yourself.

PS, i’v been off my meds for a while now. I’m emotional state is becoming unstable again. I’ll be back on soon.

Venting: I’ll say it since no one will. Methods and thinking examined in fine detail. I’m no medical guru, but there effective. This insight should help to see what they were thinking. This is mine, others i’v talked to, and research.

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I can’t stand living anymore. It’s just too much, too much suffering and pain. It never ends. I’ll never find love. I’ll never get out of this bad environment. I’ll never [blank]. Life is pointless. That’s it I give up. No more emotional torture by living. Even a nightmare dreamworld is better than this. No more… How do I it?

Car off cliff – 100ft+ no seatbeat. Low chance that I’v be alive but severely injured. Better if off cliff with deep water at base.

Fast poison: hydrogen cyanide(gas), potassium cyanide(solid). Nice and quick used by spies and various, less than 30 seconds. How do I get it? hmmm

overdose of sleeping pills, good chance you’ll just wake up after a long sleep.

research for proper overdose values is needed.

A poke to the neck main blood line. quick, but messy. Pass out quickly then brain dead in 5 mins.

Gun to the head, tricky. If not done correctly, brain damage, not death. Direction must be chosen carefully.

Electric shock, quick if done correctly. Done wrong, brain damage, but not death.

Jump off a very high bridge. Tricky, low chance you might survive. I have to make sure there’s no one around to stop me.

There must be more choices. Hmmmm….

If I research suicide, I can find out the things that will give me away. So, no one will ever know. I can succeed at gaining peace of death.

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You thought I was kidding? This is the thinking that goes through your mind. Teenagers do this more often, since they don’t have coping mechs. I have many too choose from. Years ago, I figured out something was preventing me from crossing the line.

(neo-pagan/new age specific belief warning). Tarot says great changes are coming. Love comes into your life. More effort is needed to advance your career. The scientific side says be open to it, but be doubting.

One more idea of many to try next…

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[Shadow Nexus]

FYI, I went up on the list after more months of waiting. ARG!! So, i’m not just screwed, i’m REALLY screwed. After 3 years, it’s going to 1-3 years more. So, teaching english in another country is starting to looking like a great idea. Why, always one more new idea to try. I haven’t run out yet.

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[Shadow Nexus]

ADHD makes it impossible to get a “regular job”, since I can’t be packaged and put into a box. So, I gave up totally a few years ago. Then there’s finding a gal that have anything in common with. That is huge issue by itself. Suffering through one noise hell in apartment complex 10 years ago for about three years. Now, being stuck in another one for three years+ since again I can’t afford quieter. Section8 is still about 4-8 months away. Independent business idea I can’t focus on until I get out of the noisy building. My only thought, “How the hell can I get out of this noisehell quicker??”. I’v done everything possible to fix it. It’s like trying to put out a forest fire with a cup of water.

When, you add all this up and all the other hell i’v been through. I’v had to fight the impulse nearly everyday for 30 years. “Why not just end the pain and suffering now?” I’v found that the ADHD single-mindness helps and hope that things will get better. It’s hard to fight it off. On bad day, i’m so emotionally tired out from dealing with all the stress. Fighting it off takes every bit of willpower I have.

Many years ago, I planned it out in every detail. So, no one would have any hint or any warning. Something about the way my ADHD functions prevents me from crossing the line. My spiritual beliefs played a role as well. My strength of will amazes me that i’v gone through so much and i’m still around. I’v heard about people taking their own lives for far less than i’v been through.

Those of you that have had loved one or friend take there own lives remember it’s not about you. If they had doubts, somehow they would let it slip. Most do have doubts, “A permanent solution to a temporary problem.” At some level, they will cry for help. Your not perfect, don’t think you are. The signs slipped passed you. It was their inner demons that destroyed them.

Someone with no doubts and smart enough will find a way with no signs or warnings. In that case, don’t blame yourself. You did all you could.

I’v been to that dark place and back many times over. I’m able to escape, but some never make it out. Don’t blame yourself….

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