[That Guy with ADHD]

Hi fatherto5,

Thanks for posting a very good question. While I can’t help with an experienced opinion I can say that I am generally a very laid back guy and would either overlook or forget about anything like chores not being done. In fact I usually blame myself if my wife wasn’t able to prepare a meal or do laundry as if it was somehow my fault. So if things aren’t getting done I end up doing it. Unlike you I haven’t found a medication that works but wonder how my relationship might change if I finally find the right prescription. I could easily see myself having feelings similar to yours. The transition can’t be easy for either of you. Switching gears after 17 years may put some stress on the clutch and grind a few teeth before you settle into a new one.

I’m sure there are others in the community that might have similar experiences.

Kindest regards

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Wow scott! That’s amazing!

Well, so far it’s ADHD-1, Alzheimers-0

Thanks for sharing

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Welcome to the forum Ladyviking48!

I’ve found it very helpful to be around others who can truley understand me. They, like you, are like a part of my family.

Your friend

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Hi bethany,

I like to excersize while I watch videos. While I do have an eliptical now I have done it without. I do like to get off the couch and get moving as I watch. Moving is mindless so I can enjoy what I’m watching and get the excersize I need. Just remember that you only have to do 15 minutes at a time which isn’t a huge commitment in one go. Do that two or three times a day and you’ll be off to a great start.

Regards

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

I’m glad to hear it bumbleboo! 😀😀😀😀

Best of luck finding the answers!

Your friend

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Hello halobender and welcome to the forum!

Your forum entry reads like poetry. I’m glad that you found the strength to push the “Submit” button.

I understand all too well what it means to pour time and effort into something only to lose interest and jump onto something else. I have a collection of unfinished projects all over my home. The energy required to finish them seems out of reach.

The emptyness you feel is something I also have to deal with although I do feel pangs of sadness regarding the difficulties with my marriage.

The lack of focus and the ease of distraction is my biggest problem. It robs me of everything I hold dear including my work life, home life, and personal life.

You are truely among friends here at TotallyADD.

Regards
Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Hi Latebloomer 64,

I’m not sure what kind of help you are asking for. Are you looking for ADHD help? Are you currently being treated for it with medication? If so you may need to reach out to your doctor for a change in dose or prescription. That and councilling. Infidelity is not often caused by ADHD and some men without ADHD sometimes do it too but for other reasons. It doesn’t sound as if you regret your infidelity in which case I don’t believe ADHD is the cause. It also sounds as if you have an incredibly understanding wife who loves you despite your transgressions. Why you would want to step out on her is a mystery. If you stay with your wife drop all the other women and maybe the internet too while your at it. She deserves your full attention. You will hear this a lot in these forums that ADHD is not an excuse. If you truely believe you have a problem I suggest that you seek professional help.

Regards

Richard

AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Hi Bumbleboo and welcome to the forums.

I’m sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. ADHD is a complex disorder and can’t be diagnosed easily nor should it be diagnosed based on a single blog entry. You do seem to be experiencing some traits that are consistent with ADHD. I would recommend that you try and find a doctor in your area that specializes in ADHD so you can be properly assessed. In the meantime learn about ADHD through books, articles, videos, blogs, and forums. There are some excellent examples of those on this site. While waiting for your assessment try getting more physically active and eat an ADHD friendly diet. You can also find a local ADHD support group in your area to attend.

Best wishes.

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Hi eashline93,

I wish that I could tell you that I have an answer to your problem. I’m sorry to hear that the Vyvance had some bad side effects for you. I haven’t found a medication that works for me at all (with or without side effects). I can say, however, that there are some things that have helped me. Excersize for one has been a big help. One that I really benefit from is my regular weekly badminton group. Not only is there an excersize component but the social component is also beneficial. I also work part time as a sales associate at a store that sells building products. I get lots of excersize and socialization there too. Another way to get help is by modifying your diet. There are things that help like eating a high protien breakfast, reducing sugar and carbohydrates, adding supliments (there are many articles on ADHD and diet which mention things like Omega 3 fatty acids and others). Eating more white meat and fish is also said to have benefits but you should check out a reputable source before taking action (please don’t rely solely on my word here).

Other than diet and excersize I can say that CBT has helped me. Where I live the provincial health authority has group sessions that are basically free (I had to pay $5 for the manual that accompanied the course). It isn’t specifically for people with ADHD but it does work on issues that often accompany ADHD like a low self esteem, depression, anger, etc. The course I took also covered meditation which is said to help but I haven’t managed to use it personally because I can’t clear my head and focus on only one thing.

Others may chime in with thoughts and ideas of their own. There are some nice people on this forum. They are not always around but they can relate to us ADHDers better than anyone. There are some other forum posts regarding non-medicinal treatment options. 😀

Best regards

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Здравствуйте Etheshy,

Welcome to the forum. Your story has a ring of familiarity. For me it wasn’t so much forgetfulness (although I misplace things a lot) but being distracted from what I was supposed to be doing. I would go to the kitchen to get something to eat and end up washing all the dishes without taking a single bite of anything. Or I would go shopping and pick up a bunch of things other than what I was supposed to get. As for self esteem I have very little of that even now. Like you I feel as if I am an imposter. At work I play the role but don’t feel like I deserve it. I do good work and I know it but a voice inside my head trys to tell me I shouldn’t be there. CBT is helping me deal with that.

Start by taking the ADHD test on this site. If you test positive for either type of ADHD I would assume that I have it and work on things I can do for myself such as eating right (high protien breakfast, essential vitamins, etc) , getting excersize, and learning as much as you can about ADHD. There are many helpful tips and blogs on this site as well as videos, plus much more on the internet. The people on this forum are good so read their posts and ask questions. I found talking to people like myself was the best form of therapy.

Best regards

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

• This reply was modified 6 years, 3 months ago by That Guy with ADHD.

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[That Guy with ADHD]

I wouldn’t say that I controlled my anger. It didn’t seem to last long. I do enjoy being physically active, creating art, and enjoying or creating music. I don’t know if that has been helping me control my emotions or not because it is something that I have always done. I can hyperfocus when doing them. I also enjoy learning about new things or designing things (wether I plan to build them or not). I think I do that the most. It can sure keep me entertained for days, weeks, or even months. On and off for the last few years I have been fixated with tiny homes and have gone through the design process many times.

If that controls my anger I’m happy with that.

Regards

Richard

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Hello Edward and welcome to the forum,

Before I knew I had ADHD I would get angry a lot but most of it was kept inside and soon forgotten. There were times, however, when the anger would spill out and I would vent at some unsuspecting pharmacist (sorry Mo) or a jerk kid in the neighbourhood. When I discovered that I had ADHD I was angry at the world. I thought the diagnosis was a major blow and one that I would not be able to get past. Thank God that phase didn’t last long. Now I’m back to normal and my antidepressants help with my anger issues.
I have spoken to a few people with ADHD that have a problem with anger management and needed help dealing with it. I’m not sure if it is common trait among us or not.

Regards

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Yes, Mikaturn88. I’m sure there are many people, including myself, who would love to be part of your paper boat floatilla. Wiredonjave has already shared a bucket for bailing water and tsukbaigirl has given you another good idea of a starter buddy. If you feel as if you are sinking there are people here that will gladly help to keep your vessel afloat.

Regards

Richard
AKA That Guy with ADHD

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[That Guy with ADHD]

Yes, adult diagnosis are quite common. In this forum, as well as my ADHD support group I have found that the many newcomers are adults like us who felt as if something was wrong but they couldn’t figure out what, if anything, was causing it. I thought it was just who I was for the longest time. When my marriage began to suffer I went for councilling and never got very far. It wasn’t until I came upon ADHD that the pieces of the puzzle finally started to fit. Now at least I have some things I can try to improve my life. It’s given me some hope for the future. I too wish I had found out sooner but I am glad to find out now at the age of 54. An early diagnosis could have prepared me better for life’s challenges. At least now I can tell myself that I am not stupid, and most days I believe it. While my self esteme is still very low I do have hope that I will find strategies that will help me to be less “Me” and more “Myself”.

Please let me know how things go. If you need to talk about anything feel free to message me. I’m more than happy to lend an ear.

Kindest Regards

Richard

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[That Guy with ADHD]

That’s great news! I’m happy for you. Now you can try some of the other strategies (other than medication) that may help reduce your ADHD symptoms like diet and exercise, meditation, CBT, etc.. There are a lot of different things you can try. They won’t all work for you but some might be helpful.

PS you have placed your reply in the proper spot! Good Job! 🙂

Richard

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