[JimC.]

I’m with Nellie, and think of this as bullying. URLs won’t work on these pages so Google “how to handle a bad boss” or similar and note the advice. From where I stand, this isn’t any different than if YOU worked there and were being sexually harassed by the same manager…sometimes you can’t escape those types, and it may simply be time to go. Personally I have a poor short term memory so tasks like your son has mean failure for me, so I avoid that type of job if I can. If that manager is perceived as ‘valuable’ to the workplace, then he will stay at management’s direction. if he is perceived as an ongoing problem, then there may be hope to get your son some help. I’ll cut and paste what I can and insert below. Good luck! Jim

Recommended Approach to the Unwitting Bad Boss

Talk to this boss. Tell him what you need from him in term of direction, feedback and support. Be polite and focus on your needs. Telling the boss he’s a bad boss is counterproductive and won’t help you meet your goals.

Ask the manager how you can help him reach his goals. Make sure you listen well and provide the needed assistance.

Seek a mentor from among other managers or more skilled peers, with the full knowledge of your current manager, to enlarge your opportunity for experience.

If you’ve taken these actions, and they haven’t worked, go to your boss’s manager and ask for assistance. Or, you can go to your Human Resources staff first, to rehearse and gain advice. Understand that your current boss may never forgive you, so ensure you have done what you can do with him, before taking your issues up the line.

You may never hear what the boss’s boss or the HR staff did to help solve your bad manager’s behavior. It’s confidential. But, do allow some time to pass for the actions to have their desired impact.

If nothing changes, despite your best efforts, and you think the problem is that they don’t believe you, draw together coworkers who also experience the behavior. Visit the boss’s manager to help him see the size and impact of the behavior.

If you think the problem is that your boss can’t – or won’t – change, ask for a transfer to another department. This recommendation presumes you like your employer and your work.

If a transfer or promotion is unavailable, begin your search for a new job. Fleeing is always an option. You may want to conduct your job search secretly, but under the circumstances, it may be time for you to go.

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

Couple of things: Adderall comes in 2 forms, normal and timed-release called Adderall XR. Most importantly all ADD meds affect everyone differently so probably not many here can tell you what to really expect. Only you can tell if things are “better” For me that means I don’t procrastinate; I go straight to the job at hand instead of doing lots of picayune small meaningless time-consuming things. I take 20 mg of XR when i get up, and it wears off for me around 4 pm or so, but by then I’ve had a mostly productive day.

My doc, an ADHD specialist, says no coffee with caffeine at all, so I only have 3 cups of coffee to start the day with caffeine. Doesn’t seem to bother me (that I’m aware of). I tried decaf and decided it was a really bad idea. Tastes like the floor of an old Soviet taxicab. Bletch!

As for the overwhelmed thing on so many things to do: pick a few important “must do things” and do those first, then tackle whatever you want or ignore it/them. Over time you may well pick up habits that allow you to sort through tasks very well, but you’re new to this so I think you should just enjoy the moment, do what you can, and try to improve where you feel comfortable doing so.

Good luck! Jim

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

Is the Wall Street Journal over-subscribed? Must be. Does this mean we now check medical papers for financial advice and breaking news? 🙄

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

I disagree.. *everyone* knows that the correct methodology is to smash the dang thing with a huge rubber mallet…repeatedly, sort of “whack-a-mole” style.

I feel better already ;o)

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

I’m using Adderall Rx 20 mg; on my mountain bike in the forest, I don’t have the feeling I can “read” anything ahead of time, but I do focus better and I have more fun and energy. As to doping, can’t answer you, check with the soccer league and ask them about it?

Jim

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

@Bellamom: that’s me, I’m the “helping” male spouse, but I have ADD, not my ex. I used to get so frustrated with her I lost civility from time to time. She never got it in terms of being more tech savvy. She never will. Unfortunately Adobe Flash can be a real challenge, we’ve all been there. I fixed mine by Googling the problem while describing the browser I was using and eventually it came back.

I second the ordering of ADHD DVD and watching together, plus there are a few good books on relationships with one partner being ADHD. Everyone here has a different book that worked for them and use the tons of links and help videos on this site to get the dialogue going better, it’s free and if you don’t…well…expect more of the same. My best book was (and is suggested somewhere on this site):

“The ADHD Effect on Marriage” – rebuild your relationship in six steps. by Melissa Orlov.

Good luck, we’re rooting for you, Jim

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

Thanks! much better!

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

@Joca90: You’re not studying now so you might as well get diagnosed and work on an ADD solution>>> if in fact that’s what’s happening. At the same time, as Scattybird says, seek help and advice from your school and profs. They will help.

If there’s energy left, pick a part of your studies you like best and work away as best you can just doing light reading or studying. Ignore the rest, just try to do a little.

If you work away at these 2-3 things, then you will make progress. And you will feel MUCH better for it.

Been there, done that…but with business statistics and accounting. If your architecture looks great, it’s because you do have a wonderful sense of what can be; you may lack a few motivational things in terms of execution of the details. With better understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, you can then fine-tune your direction into the part of architecture that you are really good at, and avoid the cr@p you don’t like.

Good luck, and please keep us posted. Jim

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

Contact the ADHD clinic in North/West Vancouver. This web site balks at URLs and links so I can’t put one here, but this is what I can add to help: www northshoreadhd dot com

Mission Statement…To help people with ADHD and Addiction reach their full potential in life.

Services

ADHD and Addiction Clinic – We can assess patients by secure video-conference from wherever they are in the world. Our services include assessment, diagnosis, education, medication management, coaching, counselling, advocacy and support.

Presentations – We are available to speak to professionals, employers, employees or the public.

Consulting – We will educate managers, supervisors and HR department on the impact of ADHD and Addiction on your business. We offer medico-legal opinions for employers, employees, insurers and the courts.

We are located within Continuum Medical Clinic

# 201 – 520 17th St.

West Vancouver, BC

V7V 3S8

To set up an appointment with – Dr. Anthony Ocana MD ABAM

call 604-913-8183 ext 2235 and ask for Heather.

fax (604-913-8804)

To set up an appointment with – Lawrence Sheppard MA RCC:

call 778-898-4634

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

@bucklipe: 1st…everyone is different with regard to meds and how and if they work. 2nd: if Strattera doesn’t work, then don’t try to continue (opinion, not fact). 3rd. do your homework and find out about Strattera and how long to be off it etc. 4th: if you don’t trust the Doc’s advice, seek another one skilled in ADHD treatment.

Since URLs on this site seem to crash the threads, here’s an article cut and pasted from the internet (note area I marked with ***):

Strattera Alternatives: An Overview

Strattera® (atomoxetine hydrochloride) is a prescription medication used for the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Strattera was the first non-stimulant medication approved for the treatment of ADHD. For most children, Strattera is effective at treating ADHD symptoms. Most children also tolerate the medicine well. However, as with all medicines, it is possible that side effects will occur during treatment with Strattera ******or that the medicine may not adequately control a person’s symptoms.****** Fortunately, there are several alternatives to Strattera for ADHD treatment.

Some of these Strattera alternatives include:

Lifestyle changes, including therapy

Stimulant ADHD medications

Other non-stimulant ADHD medications.

Lifestyle Changes

Regardless of whether or not ADHD medications are used, there are several steps that can be taken to help children with ADHD. Helping the child develop a routine is often useful. Developing systems to keep the child organized (such as using notebooks or binders for homework) can also be helpful. Be sure to talk to your child’s school about a 504 plan. A 504 plan (named after the law that requires public schools to accommodate children with disabilities) outlines the steps the school will take to help your child do his or her best at school. The 504 plan also addresses how your child will receive medication at school.

Any behavioral change involves a well-balanced ADHD treatment plan, including social, educational, and mental therapy. There are several different types of therapy for ADHD, including:

Psychotherapy

Behavior therapy

Social skills training

Support groups

Parenting skill training

Behavioral interventions.

Sometimes only the child with ADHD needs counseling support. In many cases, however (because the problem affects the family as a whole), the entire family may need help. If lifestyle changes alone are not effective at improving ADHD symptoms, medications, such as Strattera, may be necessary.

Good luck and keep us posted? Jim

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

this might help and I hope this URL doesn’t b*gger up this post. there is help out there, find a doc or therapist you like and trust. If you’re not comfortable with the one you’re speaking with, find another. Good luck and please keep us posted. Many here will be a great support so please keep checking back of world-class advice and suggestions? Cheers, Jim

http://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms/prof_results.php?city=Sacramento&county=Sacramento&state=CA&spec=6

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

sticky notes, alarm clock, string on finger, put meds in front of wallet, there are many ways to develop a system and habit. jc

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

..and we didn’t have to wait three days or anything! Must be a miracle then?

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

I can see the whole thing now, go figure. jc

FWIW using google chrome

REPORT ABUSE

[JimC.]

@ Wifey: here’s a manual of sorts for you: The ADHD Effect on Marriage – Understand and Rebuild your Relationship in Six Steps. – Melissa Orlov. Cheap at amazon dot com

Tried to post a link but the site will not accept it.

Jim

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts